OMFG OMFG the pattern ish real...

OMFG, the pattern is real. That fact ish so scary. The pattern started like, last year, with Geena and Terrence, continued with Alda and Alvin, continued again with me and Ether, and now it might continue once more with Alex and Thao. Well, there's a small a chance that it might continue because ever since the day we all went to Cal Skate, Alex has kinda liked Thao (*ack, cough, puke*). It appears the pattern ish true beacuse our group of close friends has been 8 people, 4 girls and 4 boys, and ever since two of them (*cough-cough* Geena and Terrence *cough*) basically got together, well, okay, they weren't really together, but iono, ish, ish, random shit happened and the "pattern" was created. Lawlz. Pattern works. LOL. I'm just watching and waiting for the pattern to continue. -.- I just realized that if the pattern continues it will have to end because Alex and Thao are the last of our friends......Lawlz......Boredom......Pattern...LOL.....

Waiting for the pattern to continue,
-Haruka Shinigami

Trust the pattern, for it shall continue~

i miss my puppy...

I miss my puppy. Lawlz. Well, of course, if you don't know, I guess I should tell you that my puppy ish my friend, well, boyfriend now, Ether. Yesh yesh, he's my puppy and I miss him because I never get to see him. Dam his parents. Dam our school system. Just dam it. I hate not going to the same school as him. I hate not being with him. I miss my puppy right now. And I know he misses me too (more than I miss him, if what he says is true). Ether is my puppy, and I'm his penguin (LMAO!). Lawlz. ^-^ Bleh. I miss my puppy. I wanna see him again. Because I hardly ever get to see him. Dam fact that he's in high school and I'm stuck in middle (I hate being a year younger than all my friends). T-T Dam everything. His parents are way too overprotective so that's another reason I barely get to see him. Bleh. Well, whatever. Sometimes not seeing him all the time is a good thing. Because then I cherish my time with him much more than I would if I saw him all the time, probablly. Lawlz. I miss my puppy. T-T I hope I get to see him soon....

Thinking only of you,

-Haruka Shinigami

Baiiz~

ack so many poems...

Ack, I just noticed I've posted so many poems recently. *-* I'd love to post a dewdle of mine here, but my internet is failing at the moment. T-T

Okay, somehow my internet let me upload this picture, but I really wanted to upload a different one. *-* Damn blogger, won't let me upload the other dewdle. Oh well, this one's just a pink rose, no duh. And yesh I know it's crappy. And I know my scanner made the colors fade. ): But oh well, it's fine...I guess, though I wish the colors were more even on the computer. Well, lawlz, ya, its crappy and it looks wayy better in the original dewdle. *-* Colors are so faded. You can only barely see the words....

Dewdling and poeming,

-Haruka Shinigami

You don't have to be a great artist to make art~

friendship from a death~

A very blood scene,
Filled with sorrow and death,
And yet,
The one of the greatest things,
Can be created here in this blood field too,
Friendship,
So much blood,
So many bones that create a puzzle,
But still,
A friendship is forming,
As two souls meet for the first time,
And as they meet,
They learn knew things,
They learn of a friendship that might be created,
Together,
They put together the pieces,
The pieces of a puzzle of blood and bones,
Infinite sorrow,
Yet a strong friendship is forming,
Being born of the death of another,
Happiness in death,
Somehow that seems impossible,
But yet it’s how a great friendship can be formed,
And now,
That friendship lives,
Long and strong in the hearts,
Of two friends.

wish~

Wish,
To be with you for now and forever,
Wish,
For our love to last an eternity,
Wish,
To always be your best friend,
Wish,
For everything to always be perfect,
Wish,
To have everyone love each other,
Wish,
For winter to end so spring can come,
Wish,
To be the one you think of all the time,
Wish,
For you to hold me tight and love me dearly,
Wish,
To be your one and only eternal love,
Wish,
For everything to be right between us,
Wish,
To have our perfect happy ending,
Wish,
For our love to never ever end.

little butterfly~

Little butterfly,
Floating in the gentle breeze,
Past the willow trees.

together~

I love you more than anything,
And you love me more than that,
It's almost as though,
We were made for each other,
Because last night,
You were in my dreams once again,
And I bet I was in yours too,
You're always on my mind,
It's impossible for me to stop thinking of you,
I wish I could spend every second of my life,
In your arms,
Comforted by your warmth,
I wish I could be with you,
Right now,
Because I love,
Just as you love me.

you're my everything...

I wake up each day just so I can see you,
And I wish I could fall asleep in your arms,
I dream of you each and every single night,
And somehow I know you dream of me too,
I sneak onto the computer just to talk to you,
And I call you just so I can hear you voice,
And I know that you’d always do that same for me,
You’re the reason I try so hard to do my best,
If anyone asks why I’m always so happy,
My answer would have to be because of you,
You’re simply and absolutely everything to me,
If you weren’t there for me I don’t know who I’d be,
Because I surely could no longer be just me,
Because I cannot be myself if I don’t love you.

winter

Everything is frozen in place in crystal patterns,
Everything is covered in a thick and hazy frost,
Everything is blanketed in a layer of snow and ice,
Everything is the perfect shade of bright white,
Everything is chilled by the cool winds,
Everything is hazy and cool and windy and snowy,
Everything is calm in the coldness,
Everything is peaceful in the chill,
Everything is perfect,
During winter.

i guess good things do happen

LaLaLa~ Yesh, I'm very happy right now. And for good reason too. Lawlz. Good things do happen if your willing to wait for them and to make them happen. ^^ This week has been so good, in a way. Well I'm basically brain dead right now, so I'm just gonna end this post with a little poem.

~You and I~

You've always said hi,

With a smile,

You've always said goodbye,

Even though you don't want to,

You've always tried your best,

When I was there,

I've always tried to impress you,

Because I wanted you to notice,

I've always let you walk away when you must,

Even though it hurt to let you do so,

I've always kept my promise,

Because I knew you wanted me to,

You and I are one and two,

Best friends for now and forever,

But something seems different,

I wasn't sure exactly what it was,

Until you said "I love you"

And I said "I love you too."

Happy Happy Happy,

-Haruka Shinigami

Just wait, something good will come~

now what??

Well, now that everything has happened, the only question left is 'now what?' And well, I don't actually know. Apparently I'm an idiot too. *sigh* The simplest of questions is the hardest to answer. And it's always been like that. And it always will be. Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. No matter how much I wish that life, and love, could just be simple, it's not gonna change. Life's fair. Ya right, whoever decided to say that was either a total liar, or a total jerk; or most likely, both. Lawlz. The only question I have is now what? And I can't answer it. No one seems to be able to. *sigh* Life never makes sense. Love makes even less sense. And well, friends, just give up trying to understand them. Well I'm brain dead right now so I'm gonna end this post here.

Thinking wayy too much,

-Haruka Shinigami

If you know someone doesn't have an answer, don't ask them the question.

clouds....

High above,
Clouds fly,
Weightless,
Airborn,
Free,
To do as they please,
Drift to where they want,
Rain,
Cold,
Wet,
Above us,
They fly,
No restraints,
Just the win and the air.

i fail, again!! T.T

I was bored a while back and I drew this pokemon fanart pic. Yesh yesh, it's Togepi and I failed at it. Well, I fail at all art, especially fanart. Though I did learn a couple years back that I can succeed at pokemon fanart. Sometimes. I ish a failure at art. Yesh, my skills are in memorization, music, and running; a.k.a. I can play some sports. I fail at art and catching things. Lawlz. Boredom. This drawing sucks. So does my scanner. And my computer screen makes it hard to look at my drawings for too long because they are so bright. Ahhh. Bright colors. I want the darkness back. Lawlz. I was running out of tan color pencil and I was too lazy to sharpen it. So lawlz, it's colored crappyly too. Lawlz. ^^ Crappy Dewdlez Inc. Lawlz.

Dewding because I have nothing else to do,

-Haruka Shinigami

When everything's done, just dewdle~

another happy ending??

Life never has happy endings. I should know. Life's shit. No one cares about. They all secretly hate you. Look around, how many of these people, these strangers do you actually know? How many could you call your best friend? The answer, in plain reality, is none. No one cares about you. No one truly loves you. It's a lie. An illusion. Unrealistic. Nonexistent. Nothing. And of course I should know. Everything in my life has had a terrible and cruel ending. Nothing is as it seems. Nothing has a happy ending. Happy endings exist only in fairy tales and other stories we tell little children to make them shut up and go to bed. They believe the phony lies because, well, they're kids, unknowing and innocent. They've never seen the harsh world called reality. They're the lucky ones. They don't understand why there is pain in this world. Why there is something else, other than love. Hatred. And this complex and unbelievable thing, called hatred is what rules our corrupt and demented world. There is nothing good left. No happiness. Just endless sadness. Depression. Slowly it takes another life. Slowly it kills. Destroys. And right now, I'm just going through another happy ending....

Depressed,

-Haruka Shinigami

Cry. Cry because there is nothing else left worth completing~

dam it; i can't win this game...

I hate losing. That's a simple fact. But I can't win this game. Why? Well, it's simply because the bastard Ether won't play fair. Dam it. I hate losing. But I can't win this game. It's unfair to start with because the only rule is against me, but he's also playing unfairly. Dam it. I hate to lose, but I don't want to win either. And I CAN'T WIN. Bleh. Don't want to lose, but don't want to win either. Dam it, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. And there is absolutely no way out. *sigh* I hate this game. It's so twisted and messed up. Basically it's the hardest stradegy game in the world, even though it has the simplest rule. T.T I can't win because I don't want to and my opponent doesn't play fair (like he ever does). I seriously don't want to lose, but I'd hate winning this game too. Bleh. Stupidity. I might as well accept losing because I don't want to win, but my hatred for losing is even more than the hatred of winning. *sigh*

Trying to win an impossible game,

-Haruka Shinigami

Never play an unfair game~

T.T missing you...

Well, yesh I've kinda been thinking a lot recently and I seriously just realized how much I miss all my friends that moved away. Jessica. Jack. And all you other people. I miss you all so much. I miss all the fun times we had together. Jessica I'd just like to say, Chaos Squad Forever!! (: And Jack, don't forget us, because we sure as hell haven't forgotten you (ya, Will talks about you nearly every single day, saying he misses you so much). Lawlz. Yesh, I miss you all so much. School is so boring now. No one to talk to. Nothing to do. It's just, well, boring, nothingness, monotonous...is there any other words to describe how bad school is without you people? I've heard some things about you and how you've been, but still, it's lonely. Everyday is as boring as the last, or worse sometimes. I seriously hate going to school because so many of my friends are gone, because they either moved away (a.k.a. Jessica and Jack) or went to high school (a.k.a. Alda, Geena, Ether, Alex, Alvin, Terrence, Jay, Le, Brian, Claire, Austin, Sherry, Andy, Thomas, Bryan, Patrick, Joshua, and many more...and sometimes I even miss the obnoxious, rude, poseur, Shawn). Lawlz. I miss you all so much. I wish we could go back and time and change it so you didn't have to move and you didn't have to graduate. But, unfortunately that's one thing we cannot change no matter how much we want to; the past. But maybe, just maybe, we might meet again in the future, the only thing we still have the control over. T.T I miss you all so much. I hate the monotony of school. The never ending hours of boredom. And well, ever so lame and tiring days that pass by nearly unnoticed for time seems to fly when you can no longer pay attention for more than two seconds without your mind drifting too more, well, saddening and depresssing thoughts. I miss you all so much. I doubt I could even describe how much I miss you here in words, but I will try my best. Life seems, boring, monotonous, uninteresting, lame, pointless, tasteless, sad, depressing, and well, it's just no fun without you all. It's just boring. Nothing to do. No one to talk to. Just endless nothingness. *sigh* I miss you all so much...

Living a monotonous life,

-Haruka Shinigami

Without you, life means nothing~

wow, math was boring....

Well, I was extremely bored during math today, that is, after our district tesing off course. I mean, what can you do when you have a substitute teacher, are done taking a boring geometry test, and all you have is a piece of scratch paper?? Dewdle of course. ^^ Bleh, well I was very bored today. Mainly because my first three classes today were substitutes. That and because it's Friday and no one could do anything because they have chinese school tomorrow. Bleh. Lawlz. Boredom.

Dewdling out of boredom,

-Haruka Shinigami

It's not like art's a bad thing~

dewdling in math class....

Dewdling in math class is fun. I mean, there isn't much else to do in class, that is except learn. Ewwz. Lawlz. Well, yesh I dewdle in math class. On my math notes to be more specific. That little ninja star, abstract flower thingy there, I drew that on my math notes in class today. Lawlz. I have absolutely no idea where that picture came from, I was just dewdling on my math notes and that little thingy appeared. Lawlz. I'm not exactly sure what it's supposed to be. Maybe a ninja star. Maybe a totally plain abstract flower. Well, I don't know, but it's something. Lawlz. Maybe I should pay more attention to what my inspiration is for a drawing, that is if I have one, then to critize the outcome. Lawlz. But still, I have no other things to do, so I'm probably going to be drawing a lot more now. Mainly because it's awesome, and also because since my laptop powercord died I have nothing to write with except paper and pencil. Ewwz. So not many poems, though I'll probably write a whole bunch. Just not upload them as fast because I used to just transfer the file. Now I must type them up again. With picture, I just scan it and upload and I'm done. Lawlz. Dewdlezz, poems, they're all here. Lawlz.

Brain dead from drawing,

-Haruka Shinigami

fArting~

well, i've been feeling "artistic" lately...

Well, as always I change what type of art I like to do from week to week. Last week was poetry, and this week just so happens to be dewdling. I've been dewdling like crazy this week, from simple drawings that I do out of boredom, to dewdling on my math notes, and much more. Lawlz. Well, since I'm just that type of person I'm going to share a bunch of my recent dewdlez with you people. Lawlz.

Yesh yesh, this pic sucks, mainly because the anatomy is way off. So very very off. This drawing is so crappy. But oh well, nobody's perfect. I like the left eye a lot more than the right eye. Lawlz. And the hair absolutely sucks. Bleh. Well, enough said about this pic. My scanner sucks tho, so it's so much less shaded than on the paper. Yesh yesh, it's crappy.

Well, yesh, it's an abstract flower type of dewdle. I did this at home while I was bored and staring at my family's Christmas tree. I ran out of room on the paper which is why some of the flower petals are cut off. And yesh, this dewdle sucks a lot too because, well, the petals aren't even remotely the same size. If you just glance at it, it might look perfect, but when you stare at for a while you will notice that it's uneven and stuffz. I had no inspiration and was at a total mental block from so much homework that I began to draw and this thing appeared. Lawlz. Bleh. This one's so plain.

Well, I was bored, and again, had no inspiration and began to dewdle. Yesh, it's another abstract flower. This one ish kinda based on a tulip, but I'm not exactly sure what it's supposed to be though. Lawlz. Well, I did kinda get the idea of abstract flowers from my friend Geena because she used to draw them all the time, but whatever, I was just dewdling crappy dewdlez again.

Well, this one I drew in language arts class after some random district test we had to take. So after I finished the test, I was bored and began dewdling, again. I started it in language arts class, but then class ended so I decided to continue it at lunch, so ya, the entire lunch period I was working on it too. Yesh yesh, it's another crappy drawing, not like any of my drawings are good. Lawlz. Well, I worked on the shading at home. And then after a while I realized how off the back petals are and since I drew them too dark I couldn't fix them. Lawlz. Well, I think this is the best of the three abstract flowers I posted here, but still, it's totally crappy.

Still dewdling,

-Haruka Shinigami

A good painter can make art with any brush~

yesh yesh, im a crappy artist, i know....

Well, I was really bored a while ago and I sketched out this really crappy picture of a tree. Yesh yesh, I know I'm a crappy artist, but still I shall share my art with you people. I know it's total shit, but it's not my fault. I was bored and I was just sketching. The roots of the tree are shit, I mean, they don't even look realistic. Lawlz. And wow, I just realized how shitty my scanner is because this is a black and white drawing and the only color in it should be from the blue and red lines on the paper because I was stupid enough to draw this on a piece of binder paper, but when you look at it, there's like a rainbow of colors within the leaves of the tree. Lawlz. Well, whatever. And, yesh, it's just a tree. And yesh it's crappy. The rock isn't shaded right so it looks fake in that way too, the roots are messed up, and I just took a pen and randomly scribbled out the leaves. It's shit. Don't even try to tell me that it's good or that I have "skillz." Because A) I know it's shit, and B) I do not know of, or possess, these "skillz" you speak of. ^^ Lawlz. So ya, it's a tree that was created out of boredom. I doubt I had any real inspiration for it at the time. I just know that I drew it free hand and without looking at a real tree. So of course, it's another crappy free hand drawing, but instead of being like that last drawings I posted here, I did not do this one in 5th grade but instead this year. Lawlz. Yesh, after 3 years of drawing, I still suck. So I guess I shall just continue to dewdle even though all of my drawings/dewdles/whatever else you want to call them are shit.

Still dewdling,

-Haruka Shinigami

Another crappy drawing~