Well, it once again seems like something is wrong. And I don't mean life in general, but something different. Suddenly, all my friends seem distant. It's beginning to seem like I don't even know them anymore. For example, Andy's been distant, and crazier than ever. Some of us are beginning to think he's depressed and on the verge of going insane. Not that he isn't crazy already, but we mean fully insane, almost mental. Everyone seems distant, like they're not even from the same planet. I miss them. I never get to see them anymore, and when I do get to talk to them, it seems like so much is happening without me. I'm left out, like always before. So much has happened without me, and so much has been happening that does involve me. There's no way around it anymore, I'm alone and I knew it. Every single time I talk to my friends, they're not the same. Everyone has changed in some way. I can't think of why but it seems like even those who I consider friends are beginning to hate me too. I think the precentage of people I know who hate me has gone up from 75% to nearly 99% now. *sigh* Everyone, why must you have changed so much? I miss the old you. Last year you were all someone different from what you are now. It's like I don't know any of you anymore. Can't you all just pretend for one moment that things are the same? I feel left out. I feel alone, and at this moment I am. No one cares about me. No one would care if I died tonight. Sometimes I wonder why you all changed, and I'm beginning to blame myself for it all. Just as always, I take others problems and blame myself. No one is the same person I'd come to know. No one is what they were. I'm sorry, but I hate it that you have all changed. Even though I've changed too, I'm still so much more like myself than the rest of you people. But there's no way around it. You've all changed and I must accept that fact, even if it kills me. I know that you're all different, and you no longer care. You wouldn't care if I died tonight, nor would you care if it was all your fault. You'd all just continue to live your lives like nothing has happened. Sometimes I wonder who you are, because there is no way you can call yourself the same person you were before. Because if you did, then you'd just be a liar. I'm learning to fall. Yes there's a phrase for it. I'm learning to fall. That song fits my life right now too. For none of you see what's happening to me. And you don't care either. None of you, you're not the same. And at times thats scary. Other times that's a good thing. But right now, you all seem distant. No longer someone I can call a friend. I'm sorry, but you're just not the same.
Learning to Fall,
-Haruka Shinigami
Goodbye~
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